“Nothing spells nightmare like a misplaced comma.”
Benji wants to be an editor when he grows up? What do you want to be? Whether you want to be a world class chef or a makeup artist to the zoo monkeys . . .
Believe in yourself and your dreams.
The rest, kid, it will come. 🙂
A Musing By Emily
Dear Mean Green Cat,
Cat’s are not green. So why are YOU green?
You got my green marker, didn’t you? Why did you do that?
Now I don’t have a green marker. It was my favorite.
And now I have to give you a bath.
Thanks a lot, Green Cat.
You ruined my weekend.
I arose in the midnight
After having too much tea,
And with my eyes half shut
I tiptoed to go pee.
But just before I flushed,
Something caught my eye.
It was green! It was slimy!
It had four legs and two eyes!
When you live in the country
And it rains bogs and bogs . . .
Apparently it also rains
Mounds of toilet frogs!
So how did you get in there,
Amphibian in the commode?
Are you a new species
Of mutant sewer toad?
I wake my son to fish you out
And put you on the deck.
The next morning you’re back again . . .
In the toilet? What the heck!?
Next time YOUR mom wakes up
In the middle of the night . . .
Please oh, do make certain
That she turns on the light!
Tiny tadpoles, warty toads
Or commode pollywogs . . .
Your mom may be the next victim
Of my good friend toilet frog.
A Poem by Emily
A donut is a cookie with a bellybutton.
Which is cool because bellybuttons are cute.
But if a donut had legs I would not eat it.
That would be just a little too weird.
If it had arms I would leave at the bakery.
If it had eyeballs I would run screaming.
If it talked to me . . .
I would call my dad because I am not supposed to talk to strange donuts.
A Musing by Emily
Everybody picks their nose.
Even your mom and dad.
Your teacher probably picks her nose.
The president – he does too.
You just don’t know it cause the Secret Service stands so close to him.
Everyone picks their nose.
Your grandma, your grandpa, your Uncle Jordy.
Your little brother – well, duh. He always does it.
I think picking your nose is just fine . . .
But eating what you pick is not OK.
Please don’t look under my bed . . .
You might just lose your head.
I whacked the pizza twice
But I still don’t think its dead.
If you do look under there
You will find my underwear!
I think it’s grown eyes and legs
And possibly facial hair.
The pudding from last week
Has really begun to reek!
I put it in my backpack . . .
Then it melted and it leaked.
The dinosaurs have grown mad
Eating food that has gone bad!
They have formed a small army –
And they like to eat moms and dads.
My bed please pass it by
If you want to keep your eye.
But if you really want to look . . .
Please kiss your tush goodbye.
Monster-Beneath-the-Bed Man:
Made up of last week’s underpants, old pudding, LEGO blocks and socks your mom begged you to change three months ago.
Super purpose: Makes sure that no real monsters nest beneath your bed by making it too crowded for them to fit and far too stinky for them to want to.
Sidekick: Monster-In-The-Closet Dude
*Teachers, can’t get your kids to really get into writing this year? Mix it up. Give them a chance to shine at topics they love and even your most stubborn student just might surprise you!
